Are you overweight and upset because you look like shit and girls won’t give you the time of day?
Are you stuck working some shitty job you hate because it pays the bills and you can’t see any other options?
Feel like life has given you the short end of the stick and other people who have it better are just oh so much luckier than you are?
Most people would prefer to blame their problems on their flawed parents, their lack of education, an economic recession, their “bad genetics“, or just having consistently “bad luck”.
You choose to embrace the lie over the truth because the truth is much more painful and pathetic. The truth wouldn’t win them sympathy points from understanding friends and family who would pat them on the back, console them, and tell them its going to be alright.
The truth is ugly, disgusting, and pierces you to the core of how you view yourself. It’s much more noble and dignifying to think if yourself as this valiant warrior who fought the good fight, did everything right, and got screwed over some big bad guy called life.
Even if a man can’t consciously admit it to himself, deep down inside he knows the truth. No matter how hard he tries to run away from it, disguise it, or pretend it doesn’t exist by drowning it out with distractions, it doesn’t go away. It lurks deep inside and haunts him when he lies down in the quiet of the night.
The truth is that you are where you are in life today because you chose to be there.
You chose to be a fatass.
You chose to be broke.
You chose to go into debt.
You chose to piss away your time with worthless pursuits.
You chose to entrust your time and your life to your shitty job.
You chose to prioritize the simple pleasure of today that you supposedly can’t live without.
The truth might hurt, but it will also make you free if you choose to embrace it.
Wherever you stand today, you are the sum total of all the choices you made leading up to this point.
How do you change the outcome of your future? Simple – change the choices you make today.
Changing any aspect of your life is a straightforward process – just change the choices you make today. If your present is a culmination of all your past choices leading up to this point, it stands to reason that your future self will be determined by the choices you make hereafter.
Slow and Steady Wins the Race
If you weigh 400 lbs, you’re $30,000 in debt, or you’re stuck working in a cubicle, realize that those results didn’t come overnight. They are the result of repeated thought patterns and actions made over the course of months and years.
You’ve probably heard the expression, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”
If you want to change your life by making better choices, it isn’t going to happen overnight.
You’re not going to give up all your greasy food and eat chicken breast and broccoli for every meal, and workout 2 hours a day starting tomorrow.
If you’re stuck in debt and you’re working a dead end job, realistically you’re not going to file for bankruptcy, quit your job, try your luck at an online business over the weekend, and build a steady passive income stream by Monday morning.
Slow, steady, and consistent progress will give you much better shot at success in the long run rather than a quick burst of balls to the walls effort only to be followed by a quick burnout.
Momentum is Everything
The basis for long term change of habits is taking advantage of a psychological principle similar to Newton’s First Law of Motion. The mind is wired to more easily go along with behaviors and thought patterns it is accustomed to while rejecting brand new behaviors.
The hardest thing about change is that as human beings, we are naturally inclined to continue habits and thought patterns that have a high degree of momentum built up and are averse to activities that have no momentum. The hardest part taking those first few steps in the opposite direction. Once you get the ball rolling, your brain pumps out dopamine to reward you, and its much easier to continue along that path.
If you have a negative habit you want to change in favor of a positive one, its a twofold process of breaking down the momentum of your negative habit while slowly building up the momentum of your positive habit.
If you’re stuck in the 9-5 grind, you’ve got momentum built up for your lifestyle. You go to work, come home, crack a beer, watch your favorite TV shows, and sleep in on the weekends. Your momentum keeps you locked into that lifestyle.
In order to bring about a drastic change in the results you’re currently getting, you need to undergo a 2 step process:
Step 1: Break Down Negative Momentum
Our brains are designed to reinforce neural pathways and connections that build up over time. If you drive the same path to work every morning, soon enough it will be so ingrained in your mind that you can drive to work while being totally absentminded and all of a sudden just arrive before you even know it. If you were to suddenly take a drastically new path, you’d have to plan it ahead of time and put some thought into where you’re headed. If you don’t pay attention, your mind may reflexively guide you down the old path without you even being aware of it. The same can be said about your habits.
If you have a negative habit or way of operating that isn’t bringing you closer to your goal, you need to break down that pattern while replacing it with a new and improved one. This will naturally cause resistance and your body will fight to preserve what it is accustomed to.
If you’re used to pigging out on frozen dinners and ice cream after coming home from work every day, your body will rebel and tell you something is wrong if you suddenly stop doing so.
If you’re accustomed to playing video games and masturbating on a daily basis, your body and mind will scream at you, “Hey you need to do this! It’s safe! This is what I’m used to!” if you suddenly stop doing it.
It’s almost as if you’re going through a form of withdrawal. If you’ve ever tried to break any sort of addiction or bad habit then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
There are two ways you can go about this – quitting cold turkey or slowly and consistently cutting back over time.
For the vast majority of people, in the long run causing a drastic sudden change in a long term behavior pattern that is deeply ingrained is not the best case scenario. While it can certainly work (if the motivating force is traumatic enough), in most cases it falls short.
In most cases, you want to create a change, but the catalyst for that change is not traumatic, life threatening, or powerful enough that it resonates through your mind 24/7 and enables you to adhere to the change with absolute committed discipline.
Negative momentum is built up over time. The most reliable failsafe way to destroy a habit or pattern that has a lot of time and momentum built up behind it is to slowly and consistently taper it off over time.
If you’re a fat slob, chance are you have a lot of momentum accumulated for eating junk food and absolutely zero momentum working out or eating clean.
Rather than massively rehauling your entire diet overnight, just make a simple change. For example, if you eat ice cream with chocolate syrup poured over it every night before bed, continue to do so minus the chocolate syrup. If you’re used to getting a burrito with sour cream and guacamole from Chipotle during lunch break, just cut out the guacamole. Do that little by little with every meal.
Once you’re comfortable with that, ramp it up a notch. Start replacing some of your fast food meat with well seasoned, cooked meat that you made yourself. Start running for 5 minutes a day every day. After you get comfortable with that, bump it up to 10 minutes. That doesn’t sound so hard, does it?
Now you’re digging a hole calorie wise and making progress. If you’re rapidly gaining weight, the immediate goal isn’t to lose weight. Its to stop gaining weight. Once you start moving in this direction, it becomes a lot easier to slowly add more positive behaviors while eliminating negative ones.
Step 2: Build Up Positive Momentum
Human nature hates a vacuum. If you try to cut out a major negative habit but don’t replace it with anything worthwhile its very likely you’ll either divert your attention to some other negative habit or itch hard to go back to your old ways. Its like an alcoholic who gives up drinking but takes up smoking instead. A lot of guys who try to quit masturbating struggle with this issue.
They falsely believe that merely cutting out the life draining, soul sucking habit of jacking off is enough to drastically improve their life. To some extent, they’re right. But they’re missing a key element. You cannot sit back passively and expect things to work out without putting in any effort. If you want a better life, you need to put in the effort on a consistent basis that is conducive to meeting your goals.
Lets say for example you’re currently working a 9-5 hustle but you want to enjoy the benefits of being a digital entrepreneur. The lifestyle change required to make that transition is one that most people aren’t prepared for. It requires one to give up most of the free time they’d spend going out to bars, watching the ball game, or sleeping in on the weekends. There are only so many hours in a day and building any kind of business requires consistent time and energy. If you’re already working full time in order to pay the bills, realistically you can’t spend 12 hours a day on building an online business.
But perhaps you can spend 2 or 3 hours a day. The biggest obstacle that new guys face is the total lack of momentum. When you’re starting a hustle online (or offline for that matter), you’re starting from ground zero. You’re a nobody with zero content, zero products, and zero visitors.
When you look around at other guys who have “made it”, it all seems so overwhelming. Its easy to get swept away with the perception that they’re oh so big and a little guy like yourself doesn’t stand a hope of a chance.
The hardest part is getting the ball rolling – in other words, building MOMENTUM!!!
Take this blog for example. When I started out, I had little to no knowledge on what goes into running a blog on the Internet, I had zero traffic, and was starting from square one. I can still remember my first time opening up WordPress and not having a clue as to what was going on. It looked like the control panel of some alien spaceship.
I didn’t have the luxury of QuikArtist to walk me through it.
All I had was a message that I wanted to get out and a desire to turn it into a successful project. At the time, I was a full time college student and didn’t have a whole lot of free time to invest into this project. I didn’t have the luxury of spending 8 – 12 hours a day on this when I first started.
My work schedule was extremely sporadic. Sometimes I’d go weeks without doing anything blog related. Sometimes I’d be able to dedicate an entire weekend to it. On average, I was dedicating a few hours a day at the very beginning. But you know what?
The blog grew regardless. The traffic grew regardless. The money came regardless.
All because I took the first step. And the next step. And the next step.
Any time you make a major lifestyle shift to take on something new, whether its building a business, building a million dollar body, or building a new habit, you’re going to be tempted to be overwhelmed and give up near the beginning. The road ahead looks so long and the destination looks so far away.
Take the first step.
Put in your due diligence every day, even if its only a little bit.
As long as you’re consistent your momentum will give you positive feedback which will breed a desire to push further until eventually you’ve made it.
At the end of the day when its all said and done, the choice is yours.
You can choose to be great. Or you can choose to just get by. I’ve made my choice. Now its time for you to make yours.